Sweet Nothings...

If my kid ever tells me they're gay:

Hypothetical Child: Dad...I think I'm gay.

Me: *stop what I'm doing and stare at them*

Hypothetical Child: ....uh

Me: Get in the car bitch.

Hypothetical Child: ....

Me: DID I STUDDER!? WE'RE GOING TO GET SOME FUCKING ICE CREAM AND TOYS AND SHIT!

awww cute.

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